What's up with that?

Ok, I have posted pretty much every day this week about my P90-X experiences and have only one more session to do tomorrow before a rest day on Saturday. Then the joy will begin once more. I wont post every day next week unless there is something enlightening or amusing to report, as otherwise it will be more posts with me just whining about how sore I am.

I do have one little issue I think is worthy of some words though. Last week, when I returned home from my vacation, I went to the gym to resume my workouts and weighed in at 244lbs. Pretty respectable if you ask me. I have been maintaining my good eating habits and even added a little more spinach than the previous weeks and so, after a week of P90-X I jumped on the scales to see where we were at. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Instead of 24lbs the scale stood glaring back at me with a number that read 245lbs!! What is up with that?? I am not too sure what is going on, but have you ever watched the Biggest Loser and one of the contestants had been working out all week and never lost a thing? Well, that is me this week. To be honest it is a little frustrating, but I can only think that my body is in shock with the transition to P90-X that it is thinking the world is about to end so it cant afford to shed any more weight as it might need that stuff to get me through this apocalypse.

Well, today was legs and shoulders - or lunges and pull-ups day - and the legs are tired and sore and the shoulders are still not speaking to me. I am sure I will feel this one tomorrow, but then I get to jump out of bed and do something called Kenpo - whatever that is. I had better go watch that DVD to see what is in store for me tomorrow.

Until next time when I check my weight again, everyone think 'light' thoughts so I can shed a few more pounds and inspire more people to sponsor kids.

I Have A Vein!! Ewwwww!

So, blogging a little late, but thought I would jot a quick note about yesterday's P90-X level of misery, I mean exercise routine. Yesterday was Day 3 for me and it was Arms and Shoulders followed by the infamous Ab Ripper impossibility I discussed on Sunday. The day didn't start off so well as my initial efforts at rolling out of bed seemed to be met with complete rebellion from my entire musculo-skeletal system. It seemed that whatever way I wanted to move, every muscle in my body was flat out refusing. This was not good as I had slept through my alarm and was close to being late for the first patient of the day at the clinic.

I eventually restored control over my limbs and forced my aching muscles into action and started my day. I have not felt this sore in, well I don't think I have ever felt this sore. Am I sure this is good for me? Clinic was interesting as I was moving more slowly than most of my patients. I think I may have been going a little quicker than my 90yr old patient, but that is debatable.

The session for today was arms - loads of biceps and triceps stuff with some shoulder work tossed in for good measure. This was another session for Gold's so I loaded up my exercise sheets and headed for the gym. In the DVD that I watched the night before they kept going on about not using too much weight as the repetitions would mount up as the session went on. I selected 15lbs for biceps and 10lbs for triceps. My triceps are not that strong and the left one is still complaining about the tearing incident from earlier in the summer.

The work began, and like a lone sentry I stood swinging from elbow flexion to elbow extension and all the time soaking my t-shirt with more and more sweat. This is why I was doing this at Gold's. Yesterday, when I did plyometrics at home and dumped my wet training gear of in the bedroom it left a rather unpleasant aroma that my wife was not too thrilled about - so there will be no more of that.

To be honest, I was really enjoying this work out. I can do arms. And then I saw it. Oh my goodness. Right there, running from my elbow, across my forearm towards my wrist. This bulging. pulsing VEIN!! I dont know about you, but for me the whole vein popping look is not that attractive. I am not in this to become some muscle bound hulk, but there it was, beating away like a junkie screaming for a fix. The thought did cross my mind that if I ever needed to give blood all I would have to do is 200 biceps curls with a 15lb weight and there would be a vein standing up that the proverbial blind man on a galloping horse could find.

The arm workout was enjoyable, what happened next was just embarrassing. It was time for the repeat of Ab Ripper and so I lay down in preparation for the first of the 11 exercises that were going to turn my beer keg of a belly into a six pack - allegedly. I got as far as the "Wuh...." of "one" and realized that my abs were still on vacation from Sunday night and this whole crunchy frog thing was just not going to happen. I needed to adapt the Ab Ripper to rip them in some alternate fashion. To add insult to injury, my lower back had joined in the pity party and was complaining about being sore or something. Inside my head it was like all the different parts of my body had convened a meeting that I wasnt invited to, but could just hear " Waah, waah, waah, waah..." though the door.

I followed the example of the apostle Paul and sat down and had a donut - well I am sure that is in the Message version somewhere, but I had the NIV so "I beat my body and make it my slave ..." (1 Cor 9:27) and went over to the abs area and punished my core with sets of 25 reps of obliques, crunches, power crunches, Captain crunches and apple crunch - well that is what I was thinking of as I was finishing up.

My work out done, it was time to retire to the solitude of the shower and once more navigate the trickiness of applying shampoo to your head when you cannot lift your arms above your shoulder height. Today was a better day, Yoga tomorrow - yeah, right. I am already skeptical of that one, but we shall see. Oh yeah, that's right - I dont have the Yoga disc, Marty does. I guess I can leave the one piece leotard in the closet for another week. This guy probably should have too. Until tomorrow.

Day 2 - P90-X Is Dante's second level of hell

In Dante's Inferno he intricately describes his idea of various levels of punishment and pain as he describes different levels of hell. I think Dante was inspired by the fact that he was in the first week of P90-X.



I started this insanity yesterday with a back and chest work out that left me feeling like a T-Rex, short arms and all. I went to bed last night praying for the rapture and woke this morning still in bed, so that didn't work out did it? This morning brought with it the idea that today would be my first 'home' workout session and who knows what that would bring. I decided to do the plyometrics session in my living room for fear of other people at the gym wondering what the strange guy was doing on his own prancing around the otherwise empty and silent exercise studio. My fears were confirmed relatively early into the routine when my 4 year old exercised her gift of encouragement and yelled out, "Daddy, you look like a girl!!"


She was ok when she landed from the drop-kick, and she didnt really travel that far anyway. (joke!) I loaded the DVD, pausing only momentarily to consider watching the Berenstein Bears DVD that was already in the machine. After all, you dont want to rush into this exercise stuff too early. Undeterred though I soldiered on. The DVD began, I strapped on my heart monitor and started mimicking what was on screen before me. My 4yr old and 6yr old 'training buddies' kept up pretty well for the first 10 minutes or so but the little one was done when she did get stepped on for real, and yes it was an accident. There is no need to call child protective services.

The next 45 minutes was filled with squatting, sweating, jumping, panting, sweating, lunging, sweating, panting, gasping for air, jumping, twisting, sweating (did I mention that already?) and more bouncing about my living room. I looked at my heart monitor and by the end of the session I had burned 800 calories, and lost most of the feeling in my feet. But 800 CALORIES IN MY LIVING ROOM!! That was pretty awesome, except for the fact that I was downstairs and my clothes and shower were upstairs. I wasn't going anywhere today, I could just stay sweaty. I struggled upstairs like a man who had just finished his first marathon and who's legs had locked up. This was going to help wasn't it?





I made it to the shower only to be faced by the still present T-Rex syndrome. I tried to squirt shampoo in the air and then get my head under neath it before mashing my head against the wall in an attempt to not have to lift my arms up to my head, but that was unsuccessful. Eventually I was clean, sore and feeling like I could face the world.

Tomorrow is shoulders and arms and, joy of joys, the AB Ripper. I think I will head to the gym for this one. More to come in the next installment of adventures of a Fat Man and P90-X. This is worth it, isn't it?

P90-X - Is This A Result of the Fall?

So with only a matter of weeks to go until I finish my challenge (according to the calendar) and a number of pounds to go before I finish my challenge (according to the scales) I decided that I would follow in the immortal words of that famous tubby chef and kick it up a notch. My workouts have been going well, but it felt more like a maintenance program than a continued weight loss effort so it was time to go for broke (although not literally).

I recently borrowed a copy of the DVD based home exercise program P90-X and decided that today was the day to begin this final phase. For those who have not heard of P90-X it is supposed to be that perfect exercise program that gives you that perfect beach body by the end of the 90 days of the program - if you believe the hype and PR machine behind the program. For those of you who have done it I really think that you will understand the feeling behind the first question that went through my head as I was doing yet another set of push-ups as per the first DVD.

That question of course was simple and to the point, "Oh dear Lord, what have I done??"

Through the wonders of social media I had announced to the world that today was the day that I would be starting this program, not really knowing everything about the program. So, the world knew, and some even asked me this morning in church how the first session went. Well, my intention of starting early this morning was foiled by my sweet 4 year old having a restless night and keeping the rest of us awake for a large part of the early hours.  My plan altered such that I went to the gym tonight armed with my list of exercises and the determination that this was going to help take me to my personal finish line.

P90-X uses pull-up bars and dumb bells to provide resistance for some of the exercises and I had neither at home, nor did I really want to sweat all over my living room carpet for the next 90 days. So off to the gym I went to do P90-X without the smarmy announcer dude showing me what a wimp I am.

I did a quick run on the treadmill to warm up and then began the madness. Push-ups, pull-ups, exotic exercises like 'heavy pants' and lawnmowers and 40 minutes of sweat later I was left laying on the floor of the gym pretty much unable to lift my arms in any direction. Who thought of this stuff? I began to think of things that the P90-X stood for. Things like:

Praying 90 times for the rapture
Person yelling 90 eXpletives
Pain 90 times worse than you have ever felt
Paying 90 times more than the outcomes are worth

On the DVD the first workout takes approximately 1 hour (including warm-up and cool down time) and my first work out only lasted about 50 minutes. The reason for the time discrepancy was my inability to actually do as many reps as they do on the DVD. I will admit that my body has undergone significant change over the past 7 months, but pull-ups, seriously? Were we even designed to be able to do those? But, like the DVD says, you do your best and I reckoned that the lack of strength to actually move my limbs was a good indication that I had certainly done that. The 600+ calories that I had burned and the 40 minutes that my HR was in the zone were also encouraging to me. Even if I cant do a pull-up - YET!

As if this bodily onslaught was not enough for the first session I was then supposed to complete a short series of 11 exercises designed to work the abdominal region in what was called AbRipper X. Are you serious? I barely have enough strength to lift the page of exercises I had printed out and now I am supposed to do abdominal exercises? Aye carumba! Well, if this is what the program calls for then this is what the Fat Man will do.

I started the first two exercises, they went pretty well, painfully, but well and then we came to exercise number 3. Something called a 'Crunchy Frog'. This required me trying to balance on my butt, keep my feet in the air and move them in and out all while synchronizing wrapping my arms around my legs when in the full tuck position. Yeah right! That was just not going to happen. Aside from the recurring back issue that I have had, my abdominal muscles had seen what my back and shoulders had gone through and had taken refuge hiding beneath the soles of my feet. They were nowhere to be seen.

If I want that beach body (which I dont really, but I do have some pounds to lose) then I needed to modify the program and use the gym to my advantage for this one. So I headed up to the abs section of the gym and punished my disobedient stomach muscles for deserting the cause in my time of need. The end came and my sweaty mass slowly made its way to the locker room to pass out quietly in a corner somewhere and wait for the end of time.

There is a reason this is a HOME exercise program - at home you at least might have someone who can help you get your t-shirt off after you finish your workout. I got one arm above my head, tried to raise the second arm but realized that it was still attached to a dumb bell somewhere and of no help whatsoever. So there I stood, t-shirt half off, face pressed against sweat soaked cotton trying to muster enough strength to break free from my clothing. I could only imagine how I will feel in the morning. I think I should move the Advil to a place of prominence beside my bed. Trying to get my clean t-shirt on after my shower was even more entertaining as by this point, neither arm was willing to elevate above 90 degrees.

Eventually I managed to get dressed and left the gym, telling two guys who were on their way in that "It is too late for me, but you guys still have time to run away!" The verse, 'resist the devil and he will flee ...' came to mind, but I didnt use it. My problems worsened somewhat as I opened my truck and realized that I had driven the STICK SHIFT VEHICLE - stoopid, stoopid Jason! I found out tonight how much my truck will actually travel in 3rd gear, and it will even start from a dead stop in 3rd gear - sweet!

So here I sit, like a T-Rex, unable to lift my arms and wondering how I will change for bed, and if I am honest somewhat in fear of the Plyometrics session that awaits me in the morning. I watched it tonight and decided that I will do that one at home. It is one thing to prance around when you are following an exercise routine on TV, or even in person, but when you are the only one in the gym prancing around the room doing all sorts of weird contortions then you get the 'weird guy at the gym' tag.

So, until tomorrow morning when I destroy my legs with Plyometrics, I bid you adieu.

PS - Jesus, if you would like to return tonight to save me from what the morning will bring, I am ok with that.

I'm Back!!! - And there is a little less of me to go around.

Well it has been a couple of weeks since I last posted but that was not because I didnt want to write - it was a matter of scheduling and simply not having enough time to get online and post my thoughts.

So, a quick update. July began with a week at home with the family completing final preparations for our Summer StreetReach mission week which pretty much took care of the entire second week of July. We had an awesome time and I will write more on my other blog about our experiences there. The third week of July was another one at home with the kids, this time recovering from StreetReach and preparing for the most awesome 2 week vacation with friends and family at Smith Mountain Lake in Va.

So, where has the Challenge been while all of these other activities have been ongoing? Well, I must say that things are going well, but to be honest I think I am just a smidgen behind schedule. The last time I posted I had just reached the milestone of having lost 60lbs - which was awesome. Our mission week, two weeks on vacation without access to a gym and a little indulgence here and there has meant that I at my weigh-in this morning I was at 244lbs - which is a total weight loss of 70lbs.

Now, dont get me wrong, 70lbs weight loss in about 8 months is an awesome achievement, but I really want to reach this goal on the date that I have set myself. So from here on in I have 10 weeks of hard work, sacrifice and self-control to help me reach my target. I believe that I can do it. I believe that I can reach the weigth loss goal that I set, but that is, and always has been one small part of this challenge. I really want to reach my sponsorship target for Compassion. My best count at this point is that my efforts have inspired the sponsorship of between 40 and 50 children. Again, this is not a small accomplishment, but I set myself a target of 210 kids sponsored and that is what I really want to see happen. I know how to lose the remaining 34lbs - I have no idea how to get the rest of these children sponsored.

I need your help. I am thankful for those of you who have taken the challenge and sponsored a child already, but I have one more request for you. Would you be so kind to decide that you will be an advocate for this cause and take it on yourself to find one more person who will become a sponsor? If you have received that first letter from your sponsor child and had that little hand drawn crayon effigy sent to you then you will feel like I feel - that we should be doing everything we can to use the wealth that God has blessed us with to reach out to those who are in need.

I am now 70lbs lighter than I was last Christmas. I know have 4 daughters - 2 biological girls who are here with my wife and I, and we also now have 2 sponsored 'daughters' who live in El Salvador who we write to, and send pictures to and pray for regularly. This has been an awfully big adventure - and somehow I feel it is only just beginning.

For those of you who like those reality TV shows with the before and after pictures then I have included a few of those at the end of the post. For those who are wondering what antics I can get up to next then you need to stay tuned for the next blog entry because I will be starting P90X in the next day or two. I am sure that will be an adventure in itself.

Thank you for your support, and please consider clicking on the COMPASSION links on this page and start sponsoring a child today. If you have already sponsored a child then become an advocate and leave a message on this post to that effect. I am working hard to meet the weight loss challenge, will you help me reach the sponsorship challenge?

Let's change lives together.

The (less) Fat Man