Bike vs Buttocks - Round 2

Ok, so having recently returned to a normal walking pattern after my initiation into the world of Les Mill's R.P.M (Rectal Pain Management - apparently the more you ride a bike the less your butt hurts, but I am skeptical). This evening I returned to the scene of the original crime with a a dogged determination that this time I would remain on my ride and would even be able to stand and pedal at the same time.

As we sat there awaiting our appointed muscular death sentence, I was strangely intrigued by the number of people who had already started pedaling. Were these people unaware of the reason they were strapped to these machines? Did they not realize that  moment the instructor at the front had his string pulled he would be off to the races like the energiser bunny on crystal meth leaving a wake of sweating panting roly-polies trying to figure out if the 'tension' he kept yelling about was the tension of their bikes or the tension in their chest as their hearts attempted to keep pace.

Well, the appointed time came, there was no call from the governor to reprieve the condemned and the pedaling began in earnest. This session went much better than my first session and there were moments when I thought I could actually keep up with the beat, until I realized I was listening to my own heartbeat pounding inside my head.

I did learn something vitally important this evening through all of the sweat and calorie burning activity. I learned tonight that there are appropriate RPM clothes which should be worn, or more importantly, there are clothes which should not be worn under any circumstances. The first necessity is a light colored t-shirt, or at least a t-shirt that will change color with every bead of sweat that is expelled. The reason this is important is for that moment when you walk out of the RPM room and into the main gym. With the right sweat soaked t-shirt on the avid lip-reader can clearly see people on treadmills and step machines mouthing their amazement at how much you must have been working in that darkened noisy room to the left. That just makes you feel better, as you try to put one foot in front of the other in a coordinated fashion and head to the locker room.

The second item of clothing is one that you MUST not wear. This may be a little gross for some, but it needs to be shared. Please, please, please, when you pick your outfit for Really Painful Muscles you cannot wear gray or light colored shorts. There is a simple reason for that - and it is the same reason that brought you adoration from the hamsters in the main gym - sweat shows up. In the middle of one painful 'hill climb' with everyone standing pedaling like mad, I looked up and there before me was a perfect seat shaped sweat pattern on a rider ahead of me - and where was it? Yup, right where the seat goes. The last time I saw a wet patch like that I was being told by my 3 year old how she was just too late to get to the potty and accidents happen.

So lesson from tonight - gray shirt for 'wow!' factor from other exercising hamsters in the main gym, dark colored shorts to hide any trace of sweat leakage from rectal regions. So, with another session of Rectums Producing Moistness behind me, I am going to bed in the hope that the leg fairies come and replace mine with ones that will work tomorrow.

Keep following the cause - and please continue to position yourself so you can begin to sponsor a child through Compassion International when we get our region identified.