My Body Hates Me

Two years ago I sat on this very same sofa planning a path of sweat and tears that would hopefully ultimately climax in a much thinner me and a lot of children being helped through child sponsorship. Today, two years later I am slimmer than I was, but not as slim as I could be, but more importantly there are approximately 60 children who were living in poverty who are now a part of Compassion International's Child Sponsorship program - most of whom live in El Salvador.

2010 was an awesome year, but 2011 rolled around and good habits slipped, bad habits crept in and here I sit, having had one day at the gym in approximately 3 months and boy am I feeling it.

In the spirit of full confession and self-imposed accountability, I stepped on the scales on Tuesday just a smidge over 280lbs and stepped gingerly back on to the treadmill. What was once a warm-up for a full work out session took my breath away, took my legs away and broke all communication between my feet and my head. My body parts spent Tuesday night rebelling. Legs felt the worst, and complained the most. You would think that with a PhD in Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness that I would know that this was going to happen and that there was nothing to do about it.

But no.

Apparently the brain had decided that the rest of the body did not need to hear the truth about what was to come. Instead of preparing for the aches and pains that would come, my body seemed to believe that it could just step back into the gym and all would be right with the world.

Hmmm, not the case.

40 minutes on the treadmill, and a back and shoulders work out on the machines and Wednesday morning reduced me to T-Rex status. I rolled out of bed, slowly, stood up, and groaned. Not the masculine roar of a T-Rex about to hunt its prey, but more of a sad whimper of a pathetic groan that indicated that my effectiveness for the day would be limited. My T-Rex-ness was completed by my tiny arms - or at least my inability to raise my arms above my head. Yup, this was going to be a day when anything above my head would just have to stay where it was and could be dealt with another day, when overhead movements might be possible.

Wednesday did not turn out to be a gym day, but I did map out a route from my front door, around the neighborhood and back to my door that is 3.5miles. This, I determined would be walked/jogged/run/crawled on days when I could not get to the gym.

One thing is sure - 2012 will be more like 2010 and my weight will be back in the 230/240 range before long.

And Now the End is HERE!!

I havn't written in this blog for a while - mainly because October was such a crazy month with traveling to Atlanta and being given the chance to tell my story to 1500 people or so at the pre-conference opening session. I met a load of great people there, had the chance to encourage a number of pastors and leaders to lead their churches into sponsoring multiple children from a single country with the intention of visiting that country some day. We hosted a dinner for our Compassion Sponsors at Mt Oak and were encouraged to hear the stories of letters they have received and just the excitement of helping to change lives around the world - quite literally.

A number of people have asked me how things have ended up -and so I wanted to set the record straight as to where I am with my challenge.

If you recall the plan was to weigh 210lbs by 20-10-2010 (20th October, 2010) and in the process to inspire 210 people to sponsor children through Compassion or to inspire 210 people to give $100 to Compassion. On October 20th I had the privilege of being in Lynchburg at a conference and connecting again with some of the new friends I have made this year on the Catalyst leadership team. My weight on that date wasn't 210, but instead was 235lbs - 25lbs short of my goal, but 80lbs less than my weight at that same date 1 year ago. I hadn't reached a goal of getting 210 kids sponsored but instead have 41 children now being sponsored by our church alone, and there may be more who have heard my story and taken that step - I won't know that this side of heaven. I think though that one day in heaven I will get a tap on the shoulder from a young woman or man who will say, "You don't know me, but you helped save me. Thanks" That is my prayer.

I also raised nearly $2000 in donations to Compassion this year - so a little short of my target, but you know, rather than being depressed or saddened because I didn't achieve my goal, I am so excited and happy that in the space of 1 year I have changed my life and inspired changed lives in a lot of other people. There are over 40 children who went to school today because of the support now being provided by people who heard my story. OVER FORTY! That is awesome. Our church is now in a position to send teams to serve and to support the work of Compassion in El Salvador. That is awesome. My own personal health and lifestyle have changed completely. That is awesome - for me and my family.

This has been a fabulous journey and I want to thank each of you who have walked this road with me, encouraging me, supporting me, praying for me, challenging me. It has been difficult and lonely at times, but the results have been worth it. I am a little nervous for the next few weeks though because this is usually the time when God speaks to me about the next year and things that He has for me. I will keep listening and will pass the news on as soon as I hear it.

Just to finish this post I want to refer to the title of this post. The End is HERE! is as much referring to the end of my challenge, but it is also an homage to the latest adventure in RPM or cycle/spin class. As many of you know, I have been taking Brad Albert's fantastic/hateful/really?/really? RPM class, and have written about it before in previous posts. Well, I took a little break to let the body rest and decided to jump back in the saddle and go again.

I set my bike up just like before but noticed something a little different about this class - there were fewer empty bikes, and more victims preparing for torture. If you have never been in a cycle class, let me set the scene. Take a shoe-box, add 45 stationary bicycles, drop in a few sweating bodies, pump up the volume and install one instructor who seems to be mainlining speed - and that is RPM. Well, the proximity of the bikes is such that when there is a full class, and the speed-junky instructor yells out, 'Add a gear and stand up to climb' then your face moves oh so much closer to the rear of the person in front of you. Not the rear of the bike in front of you - the rear of the person. Then the immortal words from the front, 'Don't look down, look ten feet in front of you!' As you lift your eyes you are temporarily blinded by the bouncing buttocks that are not ten feet from you, but a matter of ten inches. Resisting the urge to heave is the first instinct and then you bounce your eyes around the room trying to land on something that is much more pleasant to view.

Ok, you have the idea - now come with me to the last class we had. I followed every instruction (mostly) and stood up to climb the hills when requested. The first climb, the first rising from the seat revealed one of those fashion faux-pas moments that really you shouldn't be exposed to. As I stood up and looked 'ten feet in front of me' I noticed that the lady in front had the incorrect belief that wearing black Lycra leggings over the top of silver dollar sized polka dotted knickers would somehow hide the bouncing balls that encased her butt. My dear woman, this was not the case. As I looked forward I was met with the site of polka dot jumping from cheek to cheek encased in their slightly opaque covering. You could excuse this slight oversight if this dear fashion icon wasn't wearing a striped t-shirt - I mean a thin striped t-shirt. Mixing stripes and polka dots? Is the world coming to an end?

For the rest of the class I was left with a quandary as to where to look. If I looked at her butt then my OCD kicked in and I would count dots. Not good! If I tried to look elsewhere then my curiosity kicked in so compromised and played a mental game of Pong with the right cheek playing against the left cheek and the dots becoming a myriad of virtual tennis balls being batted from one side of the crevasse to the other. I know it is strange, but it passed the time when riding up those hills. 

So, in closing, if you are going to raise your rear in the air then please have some consideration for those behind you who might be distracted by your fashion choices. If my kids can color match their undergarments at the age of 4 and 6 then please no more polka dot madness at the gym.

Stuff 90X - I Need To Lose Some Weight!!

So, after a furious bout of writing for my other blog, and a Sunday morning sermon shared with my beautiful wife, I am back in the gym and hitting the cardio harder than ever. I recently blogged about my venture into P90X and to be honest, I may pick it up again. However, I have become one of the millions who started the program and stopped it, but probably one of the few who have stopped because they were not losing enough weight.

When I began P90X I was hoping that it would be the workout that would take me through the end of my challenge and help me achieve my goal. Sadly, even though they were awesome workouts, my weight loss stalled at 40,000 feet. I needed to jumpstart everything again and this week decided that I would increase my workout to a daily 1000+ calorie burn workout with a heavy emphasis on the cardio aspect but still working to include as much weight work as possible.

What a week it has been! So far I am on track with this new plan and so far the weight loss has begun again. Woohoo!! I have a little over 20 days to go and about 29lbs to lose, which, to be honest is not really healthy, but I am going to give it my best shot.

I would also like to re-issue a challenge to all my readers (well both of you) that you consider sponsoring a child through Compassion or, if you already do, then that you would take the challenge to find a sponsor for a child among your friends. I would love to reach my goal of weighing 210lbs by October 20th 2010, but I would even more like to achieve my goal of inspiring the sponsorship of 210 kids.

Next week is the Catalyst East Coast leadership conference in Atlanta GA and there will be approximately13,000 pastors and leaders in attendance. I have volunteered to help out at the Compassion International booth while we are there and I am still hopeful that my story will be told from mainstage during one of the sessions. At this point, my part in this adventure is to continue to work as hard as I can to try to reach my weight, I know that God asked me to step into this adventure and the care of the children and the challenge of sponsorship is something that He can do. I covet your prayers and encouragement for the next few weeks.

If anyone is interested in joining me and Julie on a little celebration meal at the end of this month then start setting some money aside as I have my eyes set on Fogo Du Chao in DC for a night of belly busting food. Just let me know.

'Samuel's Ear' - and an old story

For a long time I have been fascinated with one particular aspect of a relationship with God - the fact that He is a communicator and that He is always communicating with us. I regularly are drawn to passages of Scripture where God is communicating with His people. There are wonderful stories of God speaking to Abram and Moses, telling them things, showing them things that were vivid and in full technicolor. There was the time when God Spoke to Elijah and He did not reveal Himself in fire, or a mighty wind or an earthquake - no, He chose to speak to Elijah in a still small voice. There was the time when a little boy who was living and serving in the temple was asleep and was awakened by someone calling his name. After three episodes where the little boy wakes his master, he is told to listen to the voice and simply tell the Lord that he is listening.

All throughout the pages of the Bible there is communication after communication from heaven to earth. Jesus himself was the epitome of receptive listening when He declared that He didnt say anything unless He first heard his Father in heaven say it and He didnt do anything unless He saw His Father in heaven do it. Wow! That is communication. That is being in tune with someone, watching their every move and following their lead.

So why do we struggle so much with God speaking to us today?

Where are the hands writing on walls, and the voices from heaven directing and guiding us? Why is it that we seem to wander in the dark so much looking for a direction when all we truly need to do is stop, listen and then move wherever He sends us.

I was reminded tonight of how God showed us that our current house was the house He had prepared for us. I remember the afternoon we first came here. I felt this was our home immediately, but it wasnt what we were looking for. I remember standing in the front yard looking at the house asking God for a huge neon sign to appear that said "THIS ONE!" or "KEEP LOOKING!". The signage angel never appeared.

There wasnt a fire, there wasnt an earthquake, there wasnt a mighty wind. There was a still small voice. That voice told me to go read Jeremiah 29:28. Why that verse? Well the house I was standing in front of was number 2928 - and God knew what He wrote at that reference in Jeremiah.

That evening I read Jeremiah 29:17 - because I am a fallen being who cant remember a house number. I was a little surprised and disappointed when I read, 'this is what the LORD Almighty says: "I will send the sword, famine and plague against them and I will make them like poor figs that are so bad they cannot be eaten.'

Not quite the word of confirmation I was looking for. My wife reminded me of the correct address and I read Jeremiah 2928. It says this, 'He has sent this message to us in Babylon: It will be a long time. Therefore build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.'

 The whisper of God told me that this was where He had brought us to - 3000 miles from our old home - to this address, to be here to serve Him.

I have tried to follow the whispers of God whenever I hear them. I have started new ventures, I have stopped existing efforts and I have made some major blunders, but all of them in the pursuit of listening to the whispers of God.

Last week I responded to the latest whisper I believe God spoke - I stepped down from my positions of leadership at our church. This was not an easy decision to make, but I have learned that when the Lord whispers and calls your name you need to stop and say, 'Speak Lord, for your servant is listening' - just like that little boy in the temple so long ago - little Samuel.

I am not sure where this step will lead to, but I know that I can do nothing but follow the whisper. When Moses led the children of Israel through the desert, he followed the cloud and the pillar of fire - it was that simple. Wherever those objects moved to, there Moses took the nation. A straight line journey from Egypt to the promised land would have taken about 11 days - Moses led the people in the desert for 40 years. An entire generation had to pass before Joshua could cross the Jordan.

I do not know how long we will be in this place before the Lord whispers the next step. One thing I am praying for though is that I will have Samuel's ear - ready to listen for the whisper, and once I hear that sound, then I pray that I would have the courage to go where He sends me/us.

This is an awfully exciting journey for us and I would covet your prayers at this time as we seek His face and listen for His voice. I would encourage you to not listen to speculation or hearsay of what we intend to do or not do. When God shows us His plan for us, I will be sure to share it. If it doesnt come from me, then dont listen to it.

God bless. This is going to be an awfully big adventure.

My Life's Sound Track - According to My Wife

We were driving to drop our girls off to their schools yesterday morning and this song came on the radio. I had not really heard it before and it sounded like the normal Christian radio station play list. My beautiful wife Julie, who was sitting beside me, looked at me and said, "If there were a sound track playing for everyone's life, this song would be your sound track."

The song was by Josh Wilson and called "I Refuse". You can check it out here."I Refuse"

I was jolted into listening to the lyrics to see what sort of sound track my life would have according to my wife. She is a smart woman and I think that she was probably right.

What song is the sound track to your life?

What's up with that?

Ok, I have posted pretty much every day this week about my P90-X experiences and have only one more session to do tomorrow before a rest day on Saturday. Then the joy will begin once more. I wont post every day next week unless there is something enlightening or amusing to report, as otherwise it will be more posts with me just whining about how sore I am.

I do have one little issue I think is worthy of some words though. Last week, when I returned home from my vacation, I went to the gym to resume my workouts and weighed in at 244lbs. Pretty respectable if you ask me. I have been maintaining my good eating habits and even added a little more spinach than the previous weeks and so, after a week of P90-X I jumped on the scales to see where we were at. I couldn't believe what I was reading. Instead of 24lbs the scale stood glaring back at me with a number that read 245lbs!! What is up with that?? I am not too sure what is going on, but have you ever watched the Biggest Loser and one of the contestants had been working out all week and never lost a thing? Well, that is me this week. To be honest it is a little frustrating, but I can only think that my body is in shock with the transition to P90-X that it is thinking the world is about to end so it cant afford to shed any more weight as it might need that stuff to get me through this apocalypse.

Well, today was legs and shoulders - or lunges and pull-ups day - and the legs are tired and sore and the shoulders are still not speaking to me. I am sure I will feel this one tomorrow, but then I get to jump out of bed and do something called Kenpo - whatever that is. I had better go watch that DVD to see what is in store for me tomorrow.

Until next time when I check my weight again, everyone think 'light' thoughts so I can shed a few more pounds and inspire more people to sponsor kids.

I Have A Vein!! Ewwwww!

So, blogging a little late, but thought I would jot a quick note about yesterday's P90-X level of misery, I mean exercise routine. Yesterday was Day 3 for me and it was Arms and Shoulders followed by the infamous Ab Ripper impossibility I discussed on Sunday. The day didn't start off so well as my initial efforts at rolling out of bed seemed to be met with complete rebellion from my entire musculo-skeletal system. It seemed that whatever way I wanted to move, every muscle in my body was flat out refusing. This was not good as I had slept through my alarm and was close to being late for the first patient of the day at the clinic.

I eventually restored control over my limbs and forced my aching muscles into action and started my day. I have not felt this sore in, well I don't think I have ever felt this sore. Am I sure this is good for me? Clinic was interesting as I was moving more slowly than most of my patients. I think I may have been going a little quicker than my 90yr old patient, but that is debatable.

The session for today was arms - loads of biceps and triceps stuff with some shoulder work tossed in for good measure. This was another session for Gold's so I loaded up my exercise sheets and headed for the gym. In the DVD that I watched the night before they kept going on about not using too much weight as the repetitions would mount up as the session went on. I selected 15lbs for biceps and 10lbs for triceps. My triceps are not that strong and the left one is still complaining about the tearing incident from earlier in the summer.

The work began, and like a lone sentry I stood swinging from elbow flexion to elbow extension and all the time soaking my t-shirt with more and more sweat. This is why I was doing this at Gold's. Yesterday, when I did plyometrics at home and dumped my wet training gear of in the bedroom it left a rather unpleasant aroma that my wife was not too thrilled about - so there will be no more of that.

To be honest, I was really enjoying this work out. I can do arms. And then I saw it. Oh my goodness. Right there, running from my elbow, across my forearm towards my wrist. This bulging. pulsing VEIN!! I dont know about you, but for me the whole vein popping look is not that attractive. I am not in this to become some muscle bound hulk, but there it was, beating away like a junkie screaming for a fix. The thought did cross my mind that if I ever needed to give blood all I would have to do is 200 biceps curls with a 15lb weight and there would be a vein standing up that the proverbial blind man on a galloping horse could find.

The arm workout was enjoyable, what happened next was just embarrassing. It was time for the repeat of Ab Ripper and so I lay down in preparation for the first of the 11 exercises that were going to turn my beer keg of a belly into a six pack - allegedly. I got as far as the "Wuh...." of "one" and realized that my abs were still on vacation from Sunday night and this whole crunchy frog thing was just not going to happen. I needed to adapt the Ab Ripper to rip them in some alternate fashion. To add insult to injury, my lower back had joined in the pity party and was complaining about being sore or something. Inside my head it was like all the different parts of my body had convened a meeting that I wasnt invited to, but could just hear " Waah, waah, waah, waah..." though the door.

I followed the example of the apostle Paul and sat down and had a donut - well I am sure that is in the Message version somewhere, but I had the NIV so "I beat my body and make it my slave ..." (1 Cor 9:27) and went over to the abs area and punished my core with sets of 25 reps of obliques, crunches, power crunches, Captain crunches and apple crunch - well that is what I was thinking of as I was finishing up.

My work out done, it was time to retire to the solitude of the shower and once more navigate the trickiness of applying shampoo to your head when you cannot lift your arms above your shoulder height. Today was a better day, Yoga tomorrow - yeah, right. I am already skeptical of that one, but we shall see. Oh yeah, that's right - I dont have the Yoga disc, Marty does. I guess I can leave the one piece leotard in the closet for another week. This guy probably should have too. Until tomorrow.